S@&t Happens

It’s always something, isn't it? There is always some sort of obstacle to throw us off our chosen paths, and detour us on our journey. I figure it’s time to tell ya’ll about my obstacle, and attempt to explain my long absence from Skinny Screamer.

So, my “something” was a man. I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit that my relationship this past spring/summer was more detrimental to my mental health than I originally let on. I started dating this guy casually. I’d known him for years, and always thought he was funny and nice. He contacted me via FB, and we started seeing each other socially. Texting. FB messaging. Talking every day. This is the first time that I had dated anyone for over 7 years, and to me, was a very big deal.

I liked him. Things got physical. He met my kid. That was before he shut me out completely.

I have said to friends that I’ve never been treated with such disdain or disrespect in my life. One day we were talking normally, the next day he stopped texting, calling, and messaging. He BLOCKED me from Facebook on my BIRTHDAY. Through no apparent fault of my own, I had been completely dumped. And it really hurt.

I had already started on my weight loss journey before meeting this guy, but meeting him, visualizing a possible future of happiness and health, became a real motivation for me. I was feeling so great. I was smiling, getting up on weekends to work out, keeping the house clean, cooking, baking, and blogging. Unfortunately, when this man shut me out, it really shut me down. For the last several months I’ve been eating, drinking, and avoiding the gym. I've gained back all the weight I worked so hard to lose.

I am ashamed and embarrassed.

Recently I received two kind messages from friends, just checking in. Catie, Ginger – you are a blessing to me. You both caused me to remember WHY I was working so hard in the first place; not for a man, but for myself. I will never, ever, be able to thank either one of you enough for nudging me.

I’m digging out of my hole, folks. Not for you, but for myself…but I hope you’ll stick with me once again. Guess what? Shit happens. Shit happens, but life goes on.