Body Image Boot Camp - Assignment #2: Have some SEX.

I've been looking into some studies regarding the benefits of sex, and was pleased to note that there are several. Research has shown that regular sex (1-2 times a week) reduces stress, boosts your immune system, and elevates your mood. Not only that, but sex is good for your heart, and you burn 5 calories per minute during the act, which is mild to moderate exercise. (Hey, it’s better than sitting in front of the TV!)

This got me thinking about all the reasons that people are having sex… and not having it. A lot of you are lucky to be in loving, committed relationships and marriages. Some of you I know have sex all the time, while others, despite your happiness together, almost never have intercourse. Why is that? Sex should be a natural, instinctual, loving, and calming act, so why are there so many of us who don’t get busy on a regular basis?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think our body image is one HUGE reason. How many times have you asked to have the lights off, or just faked a headache to avoid the inevitable judgment of your muffin top or thunder thighs?  Ever suddenly become “very busy” when the urge strikes your partner because you had a big dinner and are bloated? Feeling sexy and beautiful (or handsome) is a huge turn-on… but when you don’t feel that way, saying yes to S-E-X is difficult at best.

I really don’t have any good advice to combat this problem; we all have body image issues, whether we are stick thin or obese, but I do have a simple solution: SCREW IT. Your Body Image Boot Camp assignment for this week is to have sex. Lots of it.

Instigate sex. Wear sexy underwear. Leave the lights on.

Because here’s the thing - I’m sure the reason your partner wants to copulate with you have VERY LITTLE to do with your body, and A LOT to do with wanting to get laid. Oh, and how much they love, respect, and care for you. So say yes. Open your mouth and ask for it. Answer the door naked. And completely forget, for just a little while, about your body.

Oh, and if you don’t currently have a partner, you know what to do. Love yourself. A glass of wine, some good music, perhaps a good book (50 Shades?), and you’re on your way.

Best of luck! Let’s get it on!

Fighting the Good Fight

My body and I are locked in the ultimate battle for control of my tissues… and I’m losing miserably.

According the www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au, fluid retention is described as follows:

Fluid retention (oedema) occurs when fluid isn't removed from the body tissues, including the skin. Causes include the body’s reaction to hot weather, a high salt intake, and the hormones associated with the menstrual cycle. Symptoms include swelling of body parts such as feet, hands, and ankles, a feeling of stiffness or aching and weight fluctuations. Drinking plenty of water will actually help your kidneys to flush out excess fluid.

I am raising my hand right now and calling foul. It’s not fair that I've been working so hard to feel lighter and healthier, and my body pays me back by retaining up to FIVE POUNDS of extra fluid. For this entire week I've felt heavy, bloated, and tired. I've gained FIVE POUNDS. I have swollen sausage fingers and divots in my shins. What’s next? Locusts?

I’m sure that many of you agree that living a healthier life is a cycle of forward and back steps. Not everyone is comfortable all the time and even skinny, fit folks fight this same battle against fluid retention. I’m definitely not the only person who suffers this plight. I’m just the loudest right now. In an effort to help others, and hopefully to rid myself of excess weight, I have done a little research and will share it RIGHT NOW!

1. Eat bananas. I thought I’d start with the easiest one. Bananas are loaded with potassium which makes them a quick, no-nonsense way to help your body get rid of excess fluid.

2. Eat cabbage. Um, no. In preparation for entering the military my ex-husband ate nothing but cabbage soup for a week. The house smelled like farts. I will no longer eat cabbage.

3. Drink LOTS OF WATER. Drinking water kick starts your kidneys and gets them working more efficiently. Some call this the waterfall diet. I've been to the bathroom 65 ½ times today.

4. Drink other stuff like evening primrose tea or cranberry juice.

5. Cut back on dehydrating drinks such as coffee and alcohol. This is a tough one. Good luck.

6. Cut out excess salt and avoid salty foods. Sodium is a silent killer, my friends. I've never known something that tastes so delicious yet is so very bad for a body in so many ways. Cut it out, or at least cut back.

7. Exercise. Don’t you find that exercise is a pretty common remedy for most of what ails ya? Just saying, it pops up all the time, so there must be some truth to its efficacy.

8. Try all-natural, over-the-counter water pills. It’s worth a try, right?

So, that’s about all I've got – a comprehensive list of tried and true methods of fighting the bloat. If any of you out there have other suggestions, I’m dying to hear them! Please post them in comments here, or message me on FB. I’m going to try them all… after I get back from the bathroom.

As Promised...

I was a little bummed that only FOUR brave souls shared their selfies with me... but all four were definitely worth it. The pictures came from women that I never could have guessed would participate (and a couple I didn't even know read my blog). I'm so honored and blessed to share these snippets with you! 

The first photo is from someone who loves her eyes. They change with the color of her outfit, and now that she's found Beach Body, they are wide open with energy and sparkle. 

The thing I adore about this second photo is the smile in her eyes. I have always noticed that this women smiles with her entire face. It's beautiful to behold. 

This lovely being cropped the part of her face that she most likes when she smiles. I agree. She is funky, spontaneous, and lives life to the fullest. It shows.

Last, but definitely not least, is a smile that I see often, and it absolutely brightens my day every time. I could name a million other things about her that are special, but I'm glad she picked this one!

Wow. All four of these women are GORGEOUS to me. Each one is brave, fearless, and selfless. Some are on a similar journey, and all admitted to having body issues at one time or another. How sad that we critique ourselves daily, instead of embracing our unique and delightful features. 

I'd like to encourage more of you to take a selfie. Really look at it. You don't even have to share it, but I bet you can find at least one thing that you like, if not love, about yourself. Good luck, and best wishes. More Body Image Boot Camp to come - I hope you'll stay tuned!

One Bad Apple (Spoils the Bunch)

Or, in this case, one bad weekend. My forward momentum was interrupted this weekend by the perfect storm of bad choices.

First Bad Choice: Starting the weekend on Thursday with dinner out and a few drinks. That sounds bad – it was only three beers, but that’s three beers too many, considering I broke my own rule, which is NO DRINKING DURING THE WEEK. I really love beer, especially Michigan craft brews, and it’s my one weakness. I could go months without chocolate or cake, could go years without ice cream, but beer is so very yummy.

Second Bad Choice: Continuing my downward spiral on Friday. I had a perfectly healthy day, and ordered a great dinner at Uccello’s. You know, the great dinner that was completely ruined by the BEER. Ugh.

Third Bad Choice: Not exercising at all. Enough said. I spent Saturday in my room watching old TV on my Kindle. I cleaned a little, but didn’t stray too far from the little boob tube. One trip to the gym or a walk in my neighborhood would have erased even a little of what I was subjecting my body to, but I couldn’t summon the will to move. In my defense, my time of the month hit me REALLY hard that day. I know excuses suck, but I’m sticking to it.

Fourth Bad Choice: Going to another bonfire on Saturday. At Wendy’s house, with Becky. Need I say more? But it was so fun, and I really did need to drink to fit in socially. Right? Please disregard the fact that Becky is a non-drinker, and she had just as much fun as I did.

Fifth Bad Choice: Not working out on Sunday either. I suck.

Sixth Bad Choice: Making healthy choices when I did eat, but not eating often enough and not eating enough, period. I would go until noon, eat some fruit, drink some water, and then not eat again until dinner. No Bueno. I did eat the crap out of some delicious hummus at Wendy’s bonfire (still waiting for that recipe).

Anyway, the perfect storm of bad choices set me back FOUR POUNDS. Granted, some of that is water weight, but really, it was just me not being conscientious enough to put on the breaks and back up the horse (not to mix metaphors). So let me drop some knowledge on ya’ll… IT’S OK TO BACKSLIDE A LITTLE IF YOU CORRECT YOUR COURSE AND MOVE FORWARD AGAIN.

I started anew on Monday. Had a great day of eating deliciously healthy things, and working out. As Becky will say, “Whenever you’re red-faced and sweaty, you know you’ve had a good workout.” Well, that was me today. Red-faced and sweaty, and loving every minute of it.

Just a reminder! Please send in your cropped selfies to merrittwithmerit@gmail.com, or to my FB Messenger. I would really love to share them (anonymously), and move on to our second Body Image Boot Camp assignment!

Body Image Boot Camp - Assignment #1: Selfie Nation

I sang at an open mic last night, and a friend recorded my performance. I took one look at the video and was instantly grossed-out by my appearance. I sounded great, but was so disappointed in how I looked. No matter how much weight I’ve lost (I can barely keep my pants up today), and no matter how my body feels (lighter, more agile), I still see that fat chick when I look at that video. God – it’s just horrifying.

I don’t know about you, but I also hate having my picture taken. Usually it’s a surprise, and I never, ever look good. However, I do take quite a few “selfies”. Of course, they always take me several tries before landing on one I actually like, and would even consider sending to someone.

So here’s my idea.

Step One: Let’s all take one. Let’s take just one selfie. You can take a picture of your head, your shoulders, or your feet – I don’t care – but take just one picture of yourself. DO NOT RETAKE THE PICTURE. Stick with your original.

Step Two: Look at the selfie. I mean, really look at it. 

Step Three: Pick out one thing about your selfie that you can HONESTLY say that you like. Granted, this might be the worse selfie in the history of the stupid convention, but you have to find at least ONE thing about your picture that is good.

Step Four: Crop the picture down to your favorite thing.

Step Five: Send it to my email address (merrittwithmerit@gmail.com) to be posted anonymously on my blog, or to your Facebook page with the caption: “I love my ______”. I will post our Body Image Boot Camp selfies at the end of next week.

As an example, here’s a selfie I took recently.

And now here’s my cropped version, with the caption: “I love my lips”.

This task is not supposed to be difficult. I know all of you, and know that you have such beautiful qualities to share. Please, share them with us!!

Changing the Blueprint

There are days when I really do feel like a shining example of health and wellness. I eat right, I go to the gym, and I drop pounds like they’re hot. However, there are other days when I look in the mirror and still see a fat person. It makes no difference that my clothes are starting to get too big, or that the scale gives me good news every day. I could walk around feeling awesome, and then see myself in a picture or in the window reflection, and I’m instantly obese. I find it so sad that I defeat myself this way.

I have lost 18 lbs since I made a new commitment to health. I have established a new schedule, have made working out a priority, and have really changed the way I eat, and what I eat. I feel great – really so much better than I did even a month ago. The changes I've made are positive, life-affirming, and REAL. If I were a better person, I would be happy with the progress I've made, and not concern myself with outside appearances. If I were a better person.

How can I be a shining example of health and wellness when in my heart I still think I look like a failure?

Please know that I am not fishing for compliments. Really, I’m not. I only write what I have because I KNOW there are others out there who feel the EXACT same way. If we still feel the same way we've always felt on the inside, it really doesn't matter how good we look on the outside, am I right?

I think it’s time for me to change my blueprint, and to challenge some of you to do the same. It’s time for us to start reprogramming our brains to accept what we see in the mirror as just what we are INSIDE – not fat or thin – just us. I’m working toward a better image, but right now, my reflection is… just me. I already love myself on the inside. I’m kind, funny, and dynamic. I’m loud and impertinent. I’m joyful and I laugh from my toes. Maybe I need to train myself to see those qualities in the mirror, and nothing else. Wish me luck. I wish you the same. 

Today starts Image Boot Camp for me, and hopefully for you. I will try my hardest to feel as confident about my appearance as I do about my personality. It'll take some work. It'll be hard. But it'll be worth every single glimpse.