Q: Why is it
so hard for me to break these bad, unhealthy habits?
A: I’m mired
in my own #$%&ing excuses and addictions.
I was
talking with a friend the other day about how annoying it is for people to talk
a good game but never follow through. While we were talking, I couldn’t help
but think of myself and that I’m a perfect annoying example. I talk an awesome
game. I never follow through.
I am a
con-artist when it comes to losing weight.
Don’t get me
wrong – I’m still down 10 Lbs from when I started. I got that far and just
stopped, and I have so many #$%&ing excuses why:
I had a really rough summer,
emotionally.
I was too busy to maintain a
healthy lifestyle.
I was experiencing issues with
depression and found it hard to motivate myself.
I was focusing on Jameson and
not myself.
You know
what the real reason is that I’ve not lost any more weight? I AM LAZY. It’s as
simple as that. I LOVE BAD FOOD. Also very simple. I look at myself in the
mirror and do not like what I see, but I cannot force myself to change. I want
to be healthy, be in relationship, run and play games with my son, but I cannot
force myself to move. Which begs the question… cannot, or will not?
I was
recently watching a past season of The Amazing Race on the Kindle. I never
thought about it before, but I realized that I COULD NEVER DO THAT. My buddy
Becky could – she would rock that shit. My dear girls Dora and Sarah could bust
that race out. Wendy would dominate and probably win the million. I was almost
in tears, having finally come to the conclusion that I would never be able to
make even one leg of that race.
So where do
I go from here? How on earth can I succeed this time, when I’ve failed so many
other times?
I think I’ve finally realized that I cannot do this on my own. I need help, dear friends. Today is my plea for accountability, and my request for ideas, suggestions, support, and physical help to make this happen. I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Maybe I’ll never be able to actually be on The Amazing Race, but I would really like to feel like I could if I wanted to.
I think I’ve finally realized that I cannot do this on my own. I need help, dear friends. Today is my plea for accountability, and my request for ideas, suggestions, support, and physical help to make this happen. I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Maybe I’ll never be able to actually be on The Amazing Race, but I would really like to feel like I could if I wanted to.
Oh, Erin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this blog... I needed to read it. I too, struggle with this daily and every time I look in the mirror (which I try to avoid). I look around at overweight people and wonder, "are they CONSUMED by thoughts about their weight like me?" It does consume me, but so far, not enough to actually LEAD me to anywhere healthy...like outside to bicycle, or inside to work out to a DVD...but I'll get there, and so will you...I have to figure out a way to STOP being lazy...it CAN be done. I wish you luck on this journey and applaud you the 10 pounds you've lost! Take care.
Francesca Amari-Sajtar
Hi Erin....
ReplyDeleteI am going out this weekend to stock my world with healthy, filling foods, including grab-and-go snacks that will negate my need for fast food.
I am too busy to be healthy. But I have to be healthy. That's an imbalance that has to be solved. Taking inspiration from people around me (hi, Dawn!) is great, but at the same time I have to figure out what works for me and my schedule.
I like bad food, too. Not fast food. But bad food. The thing is, I also love good food!! I really, really do. It's just that good food takes more effort and I am either lazy, or too tired to make the effort. Sometimes I think I should just eat Cheerios with fresh fruit 3 meals a day and take all the thinking out of it!
Taking steps forward without then taking them back is great. That 10 pounds you lost is important. It's a step. It helps me to remember that I don't have to lose X pounds to feel better about myself.....even a small weight loss makes me feel better! When I think about those X pounds, I get tense and I sabotage myself, so it's the smaller weekly goals that I think help me the most. Even the goal of going to my workout classes is something that exhilarates me when I make it happen, regardless of my weight. ANYthing but remaining stagnant.
Thank you for your blog, and please keep up with it! It helps you.... and it helps me!!