$%&ing Excuses

Q: Why is it so hard for me to break these bad, unhealthy habits?

A: I’m mired in my own #$%&ing excuses and addictions.

 

I was talking with a friend the other day about how annoying it is for people to talk a good game but never follow through. While we were talking, I couldn’t help but think of myself and that I’m a perfect annoying example. I talk an awesome game. I never follow through.

I am a con-artist when it comes to losing weight.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m still down 10 Lbs from when I started. I got that far and just stopped, and I have so many #$%&ing excuses why:

                I had a really rough summer, emotionally.

                I was too busy to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

                I was experiencing issues with depression and found it hard to motivate myself.

                I was focusing on Jameson and not myself.

You know what the real reason is that I’ve not lost any more weight? I AM LAZY. It’s as simple as that. I LOVE BAD FOOD. Also very simple. I look at myself in the mirror and do not like what I see, but I cannot force myself to change. I want to be healthy, be in relationship, run and play games with my son, but I cannot force myself to move. Which begs the question… cannot, or will not?

I was recently watching a past season of The Amazing Race on the Kindle. I never thought about it before, but I realized that I COULD NEVER DO THAT. My buddy Becky could – she would rock that shit. My dear girls Dora and Sarah could bust that race out. Wendy would dominate and probably win the million. I was almost in tears, having finally come to the conclusion that I would never be able to make even one leg of that race.

 AND IT’S MY OWN DAMN FAULT.

So where do I go from here? How on earth can I succeed this time, when I’ve failed so many other times?

I think I’ve finally realized that I cannot do this on my own. I need help, dear friends. Today is my plea for accountability, and my request for ideas, suggestions, support, and physical help to make this happen. I HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Maybe I’ll never be able to actually be on The Amazing Race, but I would really like to feel like I could if I wanted to.

I might be coming to some of you in the very near future. No more #$%&ing excuses for this girl. Let’s do this.