Ennui

en.nui

noun
a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from lack of occupation or excitement. 
“he succumbed to ennui and despair”

The year 2020 has been a bit crazy so far, and Michigan is now under a shelter-in-place order. There are many folks who are nervous and scared, and even some folks who have resorted to hoarding. How many rolls of toilet paper or bags of potatoes does one house need? Hopefully all the women out there are remembering feminine products! Our president, DT, is giving daily briefings which do nothing to assuage our fears or give us comfort. We are being assaulted on all sides by Facebook, Instagram, the daily news, and the unsolicited opinions of our acquaintances. 

I’m not surprised that some of us are suffering from ennui. It is very easy to become listless, bored, and dissatisfied with the world today. Every day I hear of another friend who is getting laid off or completely let go. I am trying to find a job in this crazy environment, and I feel anxious and a bit helpless. Even if I got a job, when would I even be able to start? There is very little for me to be excited about.

So how do I avoid succumbing to ennui and despair? 

1. I’ve begun playing Trump Bingo during his daily briefings. You can too! It’s fun, and also exciting to be able to call Bingo!

2. I am spending a lot of time outdoors. I love being in the woods or just sitting outside watching the dogs play. Fresh air is a commodity that cannot be hoarded and is in constant supply. 

3. I’m spending a lot more time with Jameson. I’m sure some of you have small kids who are annoying the hell out of you, but I encourage you to embrace this time that has been gifted to you. It’s not ideal, but it’s a chance to connect. 

4. I have been pushing myself to get out of bed and stay busy. I write lists and keep a notebook. It’s hard to be accountable, because I am constantly finding projects to occupy my time.

5. I am drinking. Not a lot, but a couple of cocktails help turn my mind off at night!

Friends, if you feel yourself falling into ennui, call me, write me, Skype with me, or text me. As someone who basically worships her bed, if I can grind it out every day, so can you. 

We are in this together. For better or worse, let’s at lease take care of each other (with a 6ft distance of course).

Empathy

em.path.y

noun

              the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

I think it’s pretty hard to be an empath right now. There is so much crazy shit going on in the world, and all of us are being inundated with the fears of our friends and families. For some, there is the growing fear of COVID-19. Others are worried about Trump, and how he is leading our country. Some even have families in China, or Asian friends who are being wrongly targeted. Still others might be dealing with the anxiety and panic that comes with no warning.

I hear all of you. It’s tough to be overly emotional and to “take on” the woes of the world.

Here’s the thing about empathy, though – it can be dangerous if not managed. According to Psychology Today, “Too much empathy, sometimes known as empathy fatigue or compassion fatigue, can be detrimental to one’s well-being, and can interfere with rational decision-making…” In other words, being too empathetic can cause you to lead with your heart, and not with your head.

I’ve found that since social distancing and self-quarantine has progressed, I have spent more and more time on Facebook. I was so ashamed to have noticed the other day that TWO HOURS had passed while I was screwing around on my phone. I was so wrapped up in everyone else’s world, that I forgot mine was passing by. I was on my stomach, in my bed, commenting on everyone and their brother’s posts, while ignoring everything that is REAL.

I have empathy fatigue, man. I need a little emotional freedom.

OK, so I get the irony. I’ve written this and posted it on Facebook (insert long sigh here). With this post, I am also pledging to spend more time on writing, walking, riding my bike, laughing with Jameson, playing with my dogs, and cooking goodies. I promise to limit my Facebooking and concentrate on staying happy and healthy. Hey, it’s not that I don’t care about all of you… I just have to practice more self-care.

My heart is with you all. Stay safe and practice your own self-care.

Establishment

There are a couple of ways to use the word establishment. One is to define THE Establishment, which is a dominant group or elite that controls a nation or organization. I mean screw The Establishment, right?

The other definition is the one I choose to write about today:

es-tab-lish-ment

Noun

1. The action of establishing something or being established.

I, as a person, am established here on Earth as Erin Merritt. I’m also going to establish this new blog, “The E Word.” I didn’t want to start another Skinny Screamer and limit myself strictly to weight loss and other exercise shenanigans, although this iteration will include some of those elements. Rather, I just need an outlet. To be heard. To perhaps touch one person through honesty, raw truth, and self-deprecation.  So here it is – the establishment of The E Word.

I’m pretty sure that the shine is off the silverware, when it comes to “blogging.” The ship has sailed. However, it remains one of the best ways to express myself, and delude myself into thinking that people care, or will even read this drivel. It's been yet another rough year, and I just feel that sharing my triumphs and tribulations just might help someone else to be better, feel better, or just run in the opposite direction.

If you are reading, I’d love some suggestions of other E words to use. As always, The E Word will be Erin (me), expressing my love, anger, or ennui (a word to be used at a later date).