From Skinny to Rhombus

I just heard a comedian say that he has dated all sizes of women – from skinny to rhombus. That struck me as so clever, simply because I myself am shaped like a rhombus. 

 

 

Did you know that I used to be skinny? I weighed 110 lbs. when I graduated from high school. This, my darling friends, is the hardest part about being fat; knowing that I once was the opposite. I could go into ANY store and find clothes to fit me. I dated a very skinny boy once. We used to get bruises on our pelvic bones. Seriously.  I could wrap my hand around my wrist and my fingers would touch. I could climb stairs at will, all without heavy breathing, and could rehearse dance for hours without tire.

Friends once called me “The Body”. When I look at my physical condition NOW, it is next to impossible not to compare it with the beautiful body I had BEFORE.

 I’ve gone from skinny to rhombus.

Which brings me to the point of this post. In the interest of full disclosure, I wanted to let you know that I’ve made an appointment with a therapist. I am incapable of helping myself at this point, and I’m thankful to my sisters who finally pushed me in the right direction. When my sister commented that she “never wanted to come over and see me in bed again in the middle of the day”, I realized I really did have a problem. The problems that I’m having with my mind are directly affecting the problems I have with my body.

It’s time to get my house in order, friends. I’ve not lost more weight because I can hardly get out of bed in the morning, let alone get up to work out. I’ve not lost more weight because I’m not motivated to go to the grocery store, let alone look up recipes. I’ve not lost more weight because I give up on myself again, and again, and again. I am my biggest disappointment.

I want to go from rhombus to skinny.

Or at least smooth out the edges and go from rhombus to heart. Cause my heart and mind is what counts, right?  

 

Yeah, that’s a puppy with a heart. You’re welcome.

Mercy

Maybe that's what I need... just a little bit of mercy. I'm crying foul, sweet friends. There's a skinny girl inside me who is screaming, my life is a complete mess, and I'm really struggling.

I CAN'T GIVE UP.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP.
I REFUSE TO GIVE UP.

Don’t give up, I know you can see,
All the world and the mess that we’re making.
Can’t give up and hope God will intercede.
Come on back, imagine that we could get it together.

Stand up for what we need to be,
‘Cause crime won’t save or feed a hungry child.
Can’t lay down and wait for a miracle to change things,
So lift up your eyes, lift up your heart,

Singing, mercy will we overcome this?
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around?
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer,
And I’ll try to give you what you need.

Me and you, and you, and you just wanna be free,
But you see, all the world is just as we’ve made it;
And until we got a new world I’ve got to say,
That love is not a whisper or a weakness.

No, love is strong, so we got to get together.
Yeah, gotta get, gotta get, gotta get.
‘Til there is no reason to fight.

Mercy, will we overcome this?
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around?
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer,
And I’ll try to give you what you need.

Mercy, will we overcome this?
Have we come too far to turn it around?
Ask too much to be a little bit stronger,
But I wanna give you what you need.

Mercy, what will become of us?
Oh, one by one, could we turn it around?
Maybe carry on just a little bit longer,
And I’ll try to give you what you need.

Dave Matthews Band